Working Dirty, Feeling Clean

 

Before Sacha came home from California we had found him a job at a construction site in the center of Marseille. French Husband and I told him we wanted him to taste gulp hard labor. We knew the one hour bus ride at six-forty in the morning would be the icing on the cake, and the heat of August the cherry on top. We congratulated ourselves knowing that his "experience", working at a construction site, before going away to college would show him what it meant to work, and by getting dirty as something that builds character.

What we didn't expect was that he would like it. Let alone learn more than the valuable lesson of sweating back breaking work, in a culture of fast food and an easy buck.

 

 

Sacha works at the construction site with young Muslim men who are practicing Ramadan: The Islamic month of fasting, refrain from drinking any fluids and intimacy during daylight hours (sunrise to sunset). Ramadan is intended to remind the faithful about patience, spirituality, humility and faith while enduring sacrifice.

 

 

 

Imagine hot, dusty manual labor in a construction site during the month of Ramadan, and not eating, nor drinking. Sacha said, "On our lunch break we walked over to the snack shop. On the way there I felt people looking at Muslim men and I, judging us... snickering behind our backs: Raw prejudice, as if we were uneducated second class citizens. I was shocked. Nobody has ever looked at me like that before. When we walked in to the snack shop I ordered a drink and something to eat. But they did not, though they sat by me. I could barely eat I felt so guilty. Though it wasn't their intent to make me feel this way, we were together to share company. I told them I felt odd eating in front of them, they smiled and said not to worry about it."

 

 

Last night when Sacha came home we were ready to hear the tales of his job, anticipating his contagious excitement. But when he walked in when saw something different written on his face, and wonder what happened. He told us that while he was lowering a stack of cinder blocks the cord broke releasing the cinder blocks towards the men below. He said, "God, mom I thought to myself those cinder blocks are going to kill them, and I screamed in terror, and could not go down to see what happened. I was terrified!"

 

 

The men below moved quickly when they heard Sacha scream, though one young man's back was scraped by the cinder blocks as he barely had time to move away. Sacha said, "Mom, the guys didn't yell, nor swear, nor react in any way negative towards me, instead they reassured me that accidents happen, and that it wasn't my fault. I expected them to be mad, or at least the guy who's back got scraped to react in pain and therefore anger, but he did not! Instead they consoled me."

As Sacha talked I could see his admiration for these young men building. That the lessons of their patience, faith, humility, and actions were leading him in a way I never imagined possible at a construction site. The lesson of hard labor have become the lessons of loving kindness.

Notes........................

Thank you for your overwhelming response yesterday, for encouraging me to be myself, and at the same time affirming me that by putting my better self in front is just as honest and good as reading between the lines. Thank you also for sharing your thoughts with me and the readers of Tongue in Cheek, your comments make this blog a richer place.

 

Comments

[jackie]

Corey, maybe the experience Sacha had was a message. This is what you are meant to write? Of course I could be wrong but what the "Gods" put in your path to write about today (after yesterdays questions) seems, to me, prophetic.

I went to the bloggess yesterday (I clicked on to your link) and yes, it was funny. But those types of blogs are a dime a dozen. While I might read her blog occasionally, I read yours every single day. In fact, your blog is part of my daily routine.

[Mélanie Aussandon]

Yann and you are an example , so your kids are just like you . They have a lot of things inside them , and nowadays this is very rare . I hope I will be abble to tell the same about Mahtis when he will be a teenager . All of you are examples : Bravo

[kim]

What a lovely story and such a good life lesson for Sacha. My nephew worked on a contruction site when he was about Sacha's age and he was hammering and the hammer flew out of his hand and knocked someone's front teeth out. My nephew never really got over that.

[christine]

I agree with Jackie. I start each day with Tongue in Cheek because it is loaded with beautiful inspiration and fun.

[Moe]

What a lovely story, Corey. Sacha is a beautiful soul.

[Kathie B]

Corey, yesterday I referred to you as an artist. Perhaps today I could compare you to the staff of life, preferably a high-quality French baguette :-)

In his youth, Farmboy Husband committed every parent's nightmare: although he was the first on his mother's side to matriculate, he dropped out of college in order to work -- because he really needed the money (he was working his way through college). He worked on the railroad for one semester, by the end of which time he came to realize what a good life academia is. I wonder if Sacha's hard-laboring experience this summer will make him want to become a professor someday too.

The part about his colleagues observing Ramadan reminds me of friends in college who would attend classes on Yom Kippur (instead of going to synagogue), but still keep the 25-hour fast. I always felt guilty eating in front of them, even though I needed to and was glad of their company, but I couldn't truly appreciate how they felt. A few years later, and for most of my adult life (until health problems precluded it a few years ago) I kept the Yom Kippur fast myself but would go to work, so I really learned what it was like. I managed, but it took determination. Now I'm physically unable to, and feel the loss more than I ever imagined.

[Kathie B]

Should read, "I always felt guilty eating LUNCH (on campus) in front of them..."

[Patricia]

Corey, I can only agree with Jackie as I start each day with you. It is like seeing what a friend has sent to you. I could not read the bloggess every day as I need dept not humor. Please continue your blog just as you have for all of the wonderful time since I found you. You are the best!

[Jacqueline]

This post made me feel warm and fuzzy Corey. I agree 100% about the hard work character building lessons for our children. Sacha has had some instant results, especially being witness to the indignities of prejudice. Nice job, parents.

And also, I think others would agree with me, that there should be an Emmy or Oscar type award for bloggers....you would definitely win!!

[Denise]

What very rich and worthy life lessons Sacha is learning. Lessons in the value of hard physical work, discipline and most importantly, the value of an open mind. He is a special boy that Sacha.

Lucky Mama and Papa.

[Paulita]

Funny that the lessons we intend for our kids often head in a different direction and teach us something.

[Lee]

Sacha and his colleagues are fine young men. The kindness,simplicity,equality,and love are deep in their hearts.
Please let them know that they have my profound respects.

[Karen@PasGrande-Chose]

Hi Corey - I love this story, and it's observations like these that are just one of the reasons I so enjoy reading your blog daily. Bravo to Sacha - I would be proud of a son who responded as he has, though I think it's clear that he has acquired an excellent set of values from his parents.

[Ed in Willows]

Sacha is becoming a brilliant reflection of his upbringing.

[Kiki]

a rich tale of what I call 'things are mostly not what they seem to be'....
You've got a wonderful son, sensitive, sensible, open minded, obviously hard working, and even telling his mum about his day.... THAT is a sort of the icing on the cake for me! I had to pull every word out of my son's mouth if it wasn't that HE wanted to tell me something...
Here one of the many links about 'seeming and being'
http://www.inspirationalstories.com/3/372.html
You are an inspiration - and young Sasha looks more like his dad every time we see photos of him! :)
Have a good day

[Kiki]

I couldn't agree more with you Ed! Well said... Thanks, Kiki

[Kiki]

ooops, I changed Sacha into a girl.... sorry SACHA! My darling sister's daughter is called Sasha, short for Alessandra....

[Gail]

Dear Corey,
your posts these last 2 days have been an inspiration. I loved the blog yesterday and absolutely loved the bloggess. I have not had a laugh that hard in quite some time. Today's blog was truly an inspiration. Thank you and keep up the great work.
xoxo
Gail in San Diego

[Patty g]

Corey, I am so moved by this story.
Thank you for sharing it with us. I am so grateful that Sacha and the other workers were not hurt, though one had scrapes. My life is so enriched by your blog - thank you again from my heart.

[Gracie]

You both are raising a great kid to become a greater man one day soon.....
I posted something about Provence take a look if you have enough time at this http://mylittleplace.blog.com/2011/08/05/beautiful-part-4/
and this http://mylittleplace.blog.com/2011/08/05/last-part-of-beautiful/

[christine]

wow - the future is looking mighty bright knowing there are young men who can see and feel like sacha in our midst. keep up the good work...sometimes lessons we try to teach our children come back to us in different ways.

[Theresa Cheek]

Sacha is not the only one learning a lesson from this...thank you for this post and showing the more exposure we have in life, the better people we will be.

[Brenda L. in TN.]

You have a remarkable young man there, Corey...He has shown he is caring and considerate...you and FH did a very good job...

[Kristin]

What a beautiful story! On so many levels!

[pinar]

the world should learn something from Sacha..
it becomes everyday more impatient and insensitive towards human who are "different" ..

love..

[Tricia Cooper]

~I had the chance to travel to Turkey last year, I was a student that studied Art History with a Emphasis in Islamic Art and Architecture. Studying Islam and culture really opened my eyes. We are all Gods children. It was an Amazing experience. thank you for sharing. It brought a smile to my face this morning :)

[Amy Kortuem]

Good and beautiful people you're raising, Corey.

[Jody]

Beautiful, thank you Corey.

[Sam]

Skills and lessons almost no one seems to be teaching their children anymore, it is unfortunate. Good for you and Yann, he is becoming a fine young man.

[Marilyn]

I am truly touched by this story. Yes, you are raising amazing young adults. You should be very proud of yourself and your FH.

[Zosia]

I think the most important job in the world is to bring up children to be good people, honest, hard working, compassionate, tolerant, because people like that can only do good in the world whatever profession they will chose or wherever they will find themselves. Congratulations to you Corey and Yann, you pass with flying colours. And the good thing is values like that get passed on to grandchildren and great grandchildren and so on. This makes me quite hopeful for the mankind.

[Just Plain Jane]

You do good work, Ms. Corey. I love seeing the world through your eyes. Your words are the first I read every morning and I'm never disappointed.

[Rosemary]

Corey,
thanks for sharing this story. What a special young man you have raised. Of course, he has two special parents. I still remember your story of FH at the park and the man who he rescued.

[suesue]

This story moved me to tears. I have two boys and while one is 28 and has learned how hard labor work can be, the other is only 21 and still learning. It is so hard to let them go and learn lessons, life lessons. Patience, accepting others and valuing hard work are just a few. Your Sacha seems to be learning them well. Of course, having loving parents always gives them more strength and wisdom.
p.s. I love your blog as it is. I feel that you're honest with your love of your life and you give us all inspiration to love Our lives too and appreciate what we have. Thanks!

[Rhonda P.]

If everyone could experience what Sacha has, what a beautiful world this would be. You made me smile, you brought tears to my eyes. I feel so sad for this world and it's future. Sacha's story brings me hope.

[Beachy]

Dear Corey - I've loved each and every post you've written about love, France, art, antiques, family... but THIS post is definitely one, if not THE ONE, favorite post of mine you've ever penned on your blog. xo

[Shelley Noble]

What a great idea to have a young person know manual labor before their schooling in books. It would show them either what they don't want from life or what they do.

Brilliant.

[Michelle]

you do such important work- raising a good man and woman at a time we need them

[carol]

I know you must be so proud of Sacha. He is a good, kind person. He has loving parents, who have taught him well.
Your words are like a balm, Corey. Yours is the blog I read every day. Thank you for inspiring us all.

[Linda]

You've raised a great son-he's going to be a wonderful man.

[Lilly]

Dear Corey, just yesterday I was discussing/arguing with my husband whether our son should work next summer when he'll be 16. I was arguing that he works so hard during the school year with academics and sports that he deserves an unscheduled two months of summer. My husband said that our son would gain so much from working a summer job. ..Your post has made me reconsider. I think I'll have our teenager read it and see what he thinks also. Thanks for setting a good parenting example!

[Maura]

Cory I think what you are seeing in Sasha is the results of yours and FH's parenting. He has learned love and compassion from both of his parents and now he is acting on it. He is a goodhearted young man and he will carry this experience with him for the rest of his life.

I love your blog and I look forward to it ever day. It is different from all the others I read and that is what I love about it but most especially it's you....your personality and your writing. You seem to touch each of us personally. I hope you never change the way you blog.

Maura X

[Franca Bollo]

Toto, I don't think we're in Willows anymore.

[[email protected]]

hi corey
i think i am the only muslim following your blog everyday... and never imagined that you will ever mention islam or anything relating to it, but honestly that shows what a great clear women you are and son you have who actaully explored before making any opinion about it....love you guys from the deepest cores of my heart....

[joanny]

Corey

As the saying goes... "the acorn does not fall far from the tree"...
You and FH did a beautiful job and raised a young man with a fine character. Wonderful inspiring story to read.

Have a blessed day,
joanny

[Diane Dainis]

Both you and FH should pat yourselves on the back for a job well done with your son. You have a handsome talented, hard working young man that you can be very proud of.
DianeD
Mansfield MA

[Lorelei]

What a heartfelt story!! I wish all of today's youth would have such a lesson in humility, kindness, and respect. Thank you for sharing.

[Cynthia]

What a wonderful young man you have raised ...