In October Chelsea asked me to do a run with her in Paris this coming March. Since running and I are not friends, I voted for the five mile walk that is offered for those who prefer walking. Since October I have been walking three to four miles a day... haven't lost a pound, though I am not walking to lose weight, but seriously? I haven't changed my eating habits. And I do not feel any differently. Maybe I need to tell myself I want to lose weight and feel like an Amazon woman, maybe that is what I need to do, give myself permission. Or maybe I need to attach three pound weights to my legs and arms.
I cannot attach weights to myself, that would be brutal.
Maybe I need to walk faster? In Willows where it was flat I was walking a bit faster. A bit. But here it is not flat, I think I should roll down the hills as going up is pure effort.
Three dogs came out of nowhere to say hi, they barked loud enough that if they were speaking English I would have sworn they were telling me off. I noticed their tails were wagging so I tried to take comfort in that. I looked the other way and walked on.
I should have lost twenty pounds due to fear.
An entire field of dried fennel blossoms cheer me. Their crown like heads remind me each season has its message. Next season if I keep this up I should be stronger, and they will be dressed in green and white to sing to me.
Along the single lane road I walk, at the foot of Saint Baume mountain, there are several stone pillar shrines. Each is to a different saint or the Virgin Mary, most of them are over 150 years old. A mile up the silence is deafening. Today I could hear the dew drop from the mossed covered tree branches. Pure gift.
Of course the occasional car comes barreling down the lane causing me to curse in front of the shrines and breaking the spell of the dew drops. But the quiet puts me back on track in more ways than one.
Do you have a path that you take to center yourself?
Heading home, downhill, snuggled up between the foothills covered with scrub brush, oak, wild lavender and thyme I beg it not to rain on my walking parade.