A New Year.
Last night around the dinner table, full of friends and family, we were happy. We laughed, ate, drank, shared stories, welcoming the New Year in together.
I sat next to our friend who many of you prayed for this year... our friend who tried to commit suicide unsuccessfully. Several months have passed since that awful day. Yet not a single day has passed were we, French Husband and I, haven't held him close in thought, and action.
He is healing.
Moment by moment has become day by day, and soon I hope it will be week by week.
Baby steps can learn to run, especially if you have a hand to hold until you are ready.
Last night was planned by our friend. He wanted to have a party. I took that as a step in a good direction. He planned and I set the table:
Peppercorn, goat cheese and honey baked puff pastry aperitif
Drinks by Sacha,
Pasta with cream and wild mushrooms,
Caramelized aubergine with baked tomatoes (I could have licked the pan, wait I did lick the pan!)
Vegetarian Bouche de Reine,
Varied French cheese,
And plates, no platters of love and happiness.
A few minutes before midnight, I asked everyone if we could take a moment to reflect on the year we were going to leave behind.
A welcoming silence soften the conversation, forks and glasses sat still.
I asked if we could leave the things, feelings, events, moments of life that we no longer needed to carry with us into the New Year behind. If we could leave, even if a grain, that which held us down, bothered, bugged, and tugged us in a wrong direction aside.
With carrying only that which we longed for,
that which encouraged us,
that which we loved,
into the New Year.
The cracks and crannies of that which we left behind,
Tears watered the moment.
Fertile ground ahead.