How to Make Yourself at Home and the French Armchair Beauty Contest

Before the French Armchair Beauty Contest began, the French Armchairs quickly glanced over their shoulders to see who was who and who was wearing what. As the curtain rose the French Armchairs straighten their backs, tucked in their tummies, lift their chins, strutting their stuff in front of the adoring audience of Sofas and Tables hoping to find a clever match.

Miss Smooth Velvet-

She thought she stood a chance as monochrome colors were in. Though her bone structure was not as classy as Miss Eighteen Century, and her bottom wasn't as pumped up as should be in these type of shows. That is why she wore velvet...thinking chic covered sins.

Miss Sunshine-

Felt like crying! She got the dance routine wrong and ended up facing the wrong way. How she wished she could do a solo routine. Certainly the dance steps would be easier. Groups...or as the French Armchair Beauty Contest like to call it: Teamwork, threaten her.

 

Miss Checker Board-

Loved to play the field, and waited happily to make her mark, "Chest!" She laughed looking at her own, she love the play on words.

 

Ms. Lone Runner-

Wasn't an Armchair, but a chair nevertheless. She stood her ground declaring that the French Armchair Beauty Contest was prejudice and politically incorrect.

 

Miss Stuffy-

Begged to have her name changed to Miss Brocade. Though the judges couldn't understand why. They asked, "What is in a name anyway?"

"Ha-Ha," she puffed, "Everything!"

 

Miss Royal-Ette-

Elegantly dressed in Aubusson knew that she stood a chance. She was glad her parents did not name her Stuffy!

 

Miss One and Another-

The twins wanted to enter as a pair. The judges threw their pencils in the air, "Enough is enough, this is a single ladies French Armchair Beauty contest. One or the other has to go.

Miss Down and Out-

Wished she had more time, more money.... next year looked promising.

 

Miss Louisette the Sixteenth-

Knew what side was her best, and flaunted it as often as possible. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Winning was her goal.

Miss Champagne Bottle Top Holder-

Knew her name was far far too long. But that was the least of her problems. She wondered if she had enough time to make some arms, if Miss Lonesome's case did not go through.

 

Miss Pink-

Original was her real name. Pink was her cover. Seduction was her game. She played to win.

 

Miss Cain-

Threw a fit when she heard props were not allowed. Funny how she did not believe she was better without a prop.

 

I do not know where this is going... it is Monday... and I like armchairs. Just thought I would let you know that about me.

The photo above is of Annie years ago.

Do you have a favorite place to sit? Since I am not very tall often my feet do not touch the ground when I sit in a chair. Therefore my favorite place to sit is on the floor but that doesn't cut it in France.

When I first arrived in France French Husband took me to an office party. He said it was a casual-after-work-have-a-drink-sorta-thing. It was at an office friend's nutshell apartment.

I wore casual. Everyone stood around looking uncomfortable, so I thought I would sit on the floor hoping to give a lead in for people to relax, talk in a group, and get cozy.

Wow was that a faux pas! The instant I sat down I knew I was doing a big no-no. I could hear a silence fill in the space between them and me. How I wished I could have disappeared. I sat still turning every shade of red. Then I stood up and went to the bathroom. To this day I wonder what was so bad about sitting on the floor. Though I have never seen anyone sit on the floor since.

Silly rules.

Comments

[Marie-Noëlle]

To me, my favourite place to sit could be anything : a chair, an armchair, the grass, the carpet, a rock, a sofa, a towel on the edge of a bathtub, a cushion, a stepladder, a stool, ... a mushroom, ... the floor ... As far as I enjoy the people I'm with, any seat can do !!!
(Now would my bottom agree with me - this is another story ?!?)

[Nancy ~ Fete et Fleur]

I love French chairs! Miss Louisette the Sixteenth has my vote.

My very favorite place to sit in my home is a sweet down filled loveseat that we have. It is linen covered with a small roses print. My dream seat would be an antique French settee with gilt frame and down cushion.

Nancy

[Donna @ An Enchanted Cottage]

Oh, and my favorite place to sit is in my oversized wing chair, which has seen better days for sure... therefore it is covered with a vintage chenille spread... And I personally think you should continue to sit on floors whenever and wherever you want!... Donna

[Donna @ An Enchanted Cottage]

Oh, I rmemeber that photo of sweet Annie! I love it! Well, I'm drawn to Miss Stuffy, and yet my home is so cottage/casual... Go figure! I guess it's true that opposites attract!... Donna

[The Brocantess]

I would go with Miss Down and Out. Her beauty shows just beneath the tattering outer fabric and her lines are beautiful. That's what a chair should be. The rest can be augemented with a good down cushion :) I love the underdog.
Thank you as always!

[Sylvia]

Love the post and stories behind the chairs, it made me giggle out lound, dh looked at me like I was looney..lol

[Franca Bollo]

Coco at her best! These are the posts you were meant to write!

Miss Pink led the swimsuit portion of the competition and wore the crown home.

Favorite place to sit? Remembering this is TIC, home of the Internets's most genteel ladies, I'll swallow my raunchy answer and say where I am right now, my bed.

And Annie? Sublime, c'est toute.

[Rebecca from the Pacific NW]

Um, what IS that sitting on Miss Stuffy's belly? Looks like some small alien has landed and is trying to burrow into her... or out? Poor, poor Miss Stuffy. First a bad name, and now aliens.

One of my favorite chairs is one I bought for $16 many decades ago, at a garage sale on a whim. For years, its worn brown fabric clashed with everything I owned, but I loved sitting nestled among its comfy cushions. Eventually a friend talked me into taking an upholstery class with her. My brown chair blossomed into blue-on-blue stripes (its pristine, orderly side) while the cushions literally blossomed with floral fabric on one side. (The other side enabled it to be all-blue in case I ever had a personality transplant and wanted it to match itself. Many in the upholstery class were appalled, and I love it still. Have never flipped the cushions to be all blue. Ever.

[Jennifer (Bistro Chic)]

I love your armchair post! It reminded me of my late grandmother's "fancy" chair -as I used to call it. I'm still hoping that I'm able to get it some day, not just because of it's beauty, but because it reminds me of her.

[mindi]

I love Miss Velvet-if she were home with me, it would definately be my favorite place to sit! (while reading TIC of course!) Great Photo Annie!
Have a great week!

[joanny]

Corey

'Us' floor sitters are 'unpretentious (but savvy ), 'earthy' ' free spirits' that can wear an evening grown - but yet can take off our shoes throw caution to the wind - and dance bare footed all night!

Love the chairs - have a mismatched collection of them my self, from regal to shabby-
LOL
Joanny
the dowser's daughter
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/

[bee]

This was such a cool post! Chairs with an attitude, neat.

I love chairs, my husband tells me before I leave for yardsales, and fleamarkets that we do not need another chair to refinish or cover.
Always looking for a place to park my behind I guess, and after reading this post, I guess I can say they do speak to me.

Have a fun day,
Betsy

[Carol]

Such a delightful post on a Monday morning!

My fawn colored wing chair is my favorite even though it could use a new cover, and a plumper seat.

Miss Stuffy looks cozy, but I love the cover on Miss Royal-Ette! But, OH, the back of Miss Louisette the Sixteenth is so beautiful. You've certainly offered some tantalizing choices.

Your life story entries have been wonderful! Thanks, so much for your blog, Dear Corey :)

[Lizbeth]

Super chairs and super humour! I vote for Miss Checkerboard.

[cathy]

Love this post - been following your blog for a while (it's listed as one of my favs on my blog) but I have a question for you.
I will be in Paris at the end of Nov - I am planning on going to the Fela Market at St. Ouen. I am looking for - y'know - paper and lace and millinary flowers and old books and papers and that kinda stuff - will I find it there or can u direct me to any great paris spots
--------------------------

Hi Cathy

You never know what you will find at any antique market, because antiquing is like hunting. A hunter goes into the forest in hopes of finding his game. Though he might not ever see a deer. And deers live in the forest.

You might find what you are looking for at St Ouen, Though it deals mainly in larger pieces, and chances are you will pay less at the small brocantes in the area.

That is not to say that you shouldn't go to St Ouen, it is a must see as far as antiques are concern.

If I were you I would go to Village Saint Paul, and Porte Vanves on Saturday before noon. Any other brocantes will be listed at the tourist office in Paris, and in the weekly Paris Scope Magazine, and online under Brocantes Paris (then list the month in French.)
Hope this helps.

Corey

[caren]

Miss Annie is beautiful!

[Marilyn]

Now we know the silly rule too. Thanks for letting us know.

I love your armchairs and knowing that you like them. I like outdoor chairs and love photographing them.

Marilyn
in Oregon

[martina]

An armchair from an antique shop that I had upholstered in brown velvet The velvet was a curtain at my Dad's store. It has wonderful arms and sitting in it, It makes me feel all cozy and safe. The other favorite place is the deck steps-weather permitting.

[laura]

i love sitting on the floor and wonder also why you can't do such things in some places.

Odd, no?

In any case, thanks for the great post - made me smile and wish for a comfy chair instead of my desk chair inside my freezing cold office. meh.

The "other" Laura

[jend'isère]

No skinny models here, except Mademoiselle champagne-wire. Been asked more than once by French why Americans put their feet on furniture. Would Miss Pink dare such a feat?

[Diogenes]

Corey, I love armchairs too. But who won the beauty contest?

The Louis XV in the first picture is great. I also love the two caned chairs. Is there a name for that style in French?

Although I am ga-ga for French chairs, my favorite place to sit is a Chinese horseshoe armchair, that fits me like a glove.

[Penny]

Charming, as always.
I love Miss Down and Out - the Scarlet O'Hara of the group. There is always tomorrow.
My favorite chair? My husband's great-grandfather's rocker. We are told it is Jacobean and had it refurbished when we moved to this house. It is very old, by American standards, is filled with horsehair, and has massive arms where Irish hubby likes to sit early morning to watch the deer marauding in our yard. A grandma chair, very dainty, sits companionably nearby.

[Laura]

Thank you for this big smile as I sit in my ugly office chair to start my day! You are so much fun!
:) Laura

[Julie Ann Evins]

The smart money is on Louisette but I fancy Miss Pink. I have the short issue too, cant really sit on a sofa comfortably with my feet down so usually remove my shoes and put my feet up and usually under me wherever I go - an even greater faux pas for sure ! Luv Jx

[Margaret Bouwmeester]

I have a chair, we refer to it as the "green chair" it belonged to my Baba. I have a small tiny picture of my older sister holding me at three months old, and another picture of my Mother sitting in it. So many memories surround this chair. Your post has made me thing of all of these, I may have to write about it...... someday.
I loved to see all the different arm chairs. I laughed about the sitting on the floor thing, wonder why they don't sit on the floor? Funny things you learn about other countries!! Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Margaret B

[Katiebell]

sit in the air, on a chair, in a tree, on my knee, on your bed, in the shed. Place your derriere anywhere my dear!

[Kim B.]

So creative! I love it.

I too am short and often my feet don't reach the floor. I hate that!! I'm also a big floor sitter . . . so I feel for you for that experience!

[Candy]

I have a chair upstairs that I call my joy chair. It's amazing what goes on when I sit in that chair. God meets me there. And I agree. Rules are silly, especially silly ones.

[Vicki]

You hit my weakness....I adore old chairs!!!
I have two fabulous french chairs in the back of my Element...singing "should I stay or should I go"!!! What to do...find a place or take them to the shop to sell??? Maybe I can just let them visit for awhile!!
I will never look at a chair again the same way....my brain will be naming them. I loved all their names!!!

[Linda C.]

I've been looking for a chair for my bedroom for ages..dilly dallied 1 day too much & lost a good priced one on E-bay..no broantes where I live! I love Miss Louisette the Sixteenth. Annie looks like that's exactly where she wanted to be in that photo,plonked down in that big comfy armchair..thank you. Linda C.

[Gina]

My Favourite place to sit is in my Red chair. I blogged about it here:

http://thebaynhamfamily.blogspot.com/2009/07/red-chair.html

It makes me feel safe and cherished after a long day in the hospital.