Let the Spirit Move You

                        

1. French Husband arrived for my father's funeral and will stay a few days.

2. School, the distance, and timing do not permit Chelsea and Sacha to come; Though they arrive in early June.

2A. I am trying not to think that French husband and I are in California while our children are clear across the world....

3. The amount of incredible food that keeps coming into my mother's home makes the scale tip higher and higher. Who has willpower at a time like this?

4. Holding emotion in is exhausting.

5. Funerals are exhausting too.

6. The eulogy...or I should say the blank piece of paper starring me in the face is haunting. Where do I begin? Each time I try to put something down on paper I see my father in the dark hospital room and his gallant desire to live... and I hear myself telling him to let go- Three months of bearing witness to my father's heroic effort and his dying days has my heart far too sad to create a worthy eulogy.

7. My sister in laws are the best beyond helpful and supportive.

8. Having little children around is natural healing medicine.

9. My mother... my brothers keep my father ever on their lips. Story after story.

10. I must focus on the eulogy.... please, please, please give me the words to share and the courage to speak without turning into a puddle. Where does one begin?

Comments

[kenju]

You could take small sections from each of the posts you made while you were with him in the hospital and you'd have a eulogy in no time at all. So many of your posts were sad but, so wonderful during that time. You are an excellent writer, so I know you can do it.

[amalee issa]

Corey,

Start at the end and begin your Dad's eulogy by remembering his last hours. Many in the church will not have witnessed that, and you are their witness. They need to know that the man they care suffiently for to surrender time to be at his funeral, was loved and cared for at the end of his life and the start of his journey to paradise.
Then recount the things you remember as an adult, until you remember your childhood memories. And that will probably cover all the things he did that made him the man he was to everyone in the church.

Just don't forget to mention the person he made you, and the hopes and joys you bring to so many others via your life, your friendships and your blog. Well done Corey, you brought your dad into our virtual world.

[martina]

The "Roads" post is one of my favorites too. Just speak from the heart, Corey, like you always do. Your Dad will be there with you, encouraging you. It is going to be a tough day but if anyone knows how to say things eloquently and beautifully-it is you. We will all be there for you emotionally. Can you feel us all standing behind you, waiting to give you hugs? May you, your mother, husband, the family and friends find great comfort today.

[rositta]

The eulogy is the hardest part I know but you are much better with words than I will ever be. You will start writing and it will just flow out of you. Your are right about children and thank God for them. On the eve of my Mother's funeral my son arrived from out of town with my new 6 week old grand daughter and it just seemed to lighten my mood and make things easier to bear. My thoughts are with you, take care of yourself...ciao

[Sheila]

You, your Mother and brothers, have so many stories of your Dad. Celebrate his life, in eulogy, with some of them. As long as the stories are told he will live on. Everyone there will recall those stories too, and have some of their own.
It's okay to smile through the tears.
I will be with you in spirit..
hugs
xx

[misschris]

Everything you need to say is here in your blog. It feels like I know your father from reading these past months. You´ve said such beautiful things!

[Suzanne]

Corey: "...and his gallant desire to live." These are the words that I hold from the three last months we've been accompaning you and your loving Dad. His strong and endless desire to LIVE... to see the ones he loved, to walk on Willows roads, to ride his motorbike, to pray in honor of life itself.
As you found the words and the silences to be with him during all this time, you will find the words to say the eulogy. Don't worry about puddling, just do what you always did... and let your heart speak the words of love.

Big hug*

[Laurie]

Corey,
Just go back through what you shared with us. Most of the things you shared would be a worthy tribute and others need to hear what we got to read on a daily basis. We're still with you in love and support. Laurie

[Lori Witzel]

I suspect the challenge isn't in feeling...but in giving form and structure to your feeling. It's like framing a photo -- the things you see move you, but the frame gives them the power to move others.

That said, here are some links to poems that may help loosen your pen:
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16210
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19168

And, mostly, know all your invisible friends are with you.

[stephanie]

Dear Corey,
I believe this community of support you have here must be of some comfort and I add my most sincere love to the outpouring you have received.

x...x
steph

[Jess]

I only just read your last few entries and am so sorry about your dad - he sounds to have been a wonderful person. How amazing to have had you there with him in his last moments on this Earth. I lost my own father on the 12th April. It is still so surreal, but I can't help but think that our loved ones never really leave us - their presence is still all around, with us forever, and one day we will finally rise ourselves and meet with them again. I send you all the strength and goodness possible to help your through this difficult time. Thank you for posting such wonderful words.

-Jess

[Heather]

Corey, I am thinking of you today. Hang in there, we are all here for you. Your beautiful descriptions of the last three months will stay with me forever. Take care, sending a hug.

[My Melange]

Corey,

You have such a way with words. Don't overthink it. Just let the words flow from your heart onto the paper. Your father will be proud and he knows you love him.....

[Dee]

What a wonderful idea Muriel has..."Back roads with my Dad"! I love that post.

I know the words will come, Corey...you have such a gift "of words".

Thank goodness FH is there with you!

[Wendi Kelly]

Corey,

It is already written in your spirit dear. Put the pen on the paper and don't even think. the words will fall on to the page by themselves.

I feel so much love for you today, it is coming right out of heaven itself

God be with you.

[Muriel]

Corey remember your post: The back Roads with my Dad, read it and remember... this post is a favourite of mine....

God bless you and your family

[Tina]

Sending you prayers for Ease and Peace.

[louise]

Sending love to you, Corey.
And to your family as well.
lj xo

[gracia]

Oh, where to begin? I have no idea I'm afraid, and I have yet to experience similar. But having read your blog for a long time now, I know that you will find the words from the heart that fit.

sending love, g xo

[Jeanette]

I think the best place to start is from your heart. That is where he is and will always be there...let him tell your story of his life. If you turn into a puddle I am positive their will be more then one out in the church doing the same. I know your family there will be tears of joy, pride, sorrow, happiness, grief and loss. But with those tears will come healing. Remember his strength and that will help you through this time of sorrow. Blessing and prayers to you and your Family, Jeanette

[Debbie]

Corey,
I'm so glad your husband has arrived. It is there that you can let out all the emotions you have felt the need to hold.
I'm sure it is difficult to write your father's eulogy. Not what to share, but how to pare it down. You write beautifully, and it captivates your audience, so that is not the problem. You have shared so much with us, we not only feel you are a friend, but that we have come to know your family, and your father, and that we will also miss him.
You have been in my prayer today. May you feel the presence of heaven today, this most difficult day, and in the days to come.
Debbie

[Deb Smithson]

Dear, Dear Corey,
Just let the emotions flow. Let go and your words will come... speak as you always do of the abundance of happiness, the deep love, the overflowing joy and even the pain ... celebrate the grandness that was his amazing life ... So glad French husband has arrived ... My thoughts are with you and yours today. Deb

[Melissa's Cozy Teacup]

okay that should read the first thing I'd like to ENCOURAGE you to do. I'm not giving orders! lol

[Melissa's Cozy Teacup]

Dear Friend,

When my grandmother died a few years ago, I briefly spoke at her funeral, I quoted alex haley,'when and elder person dies, it's like a library burning'. It's so true. All his stories are gone (from HIS point of view). The first thing I'd like you to do, after the funeral, is to find away to preserve his stories. As for what to say-well, you have so many wonderful things to say about your father, your most difficult task will be what to leave out, not what to say. He sounds like a wonderful man. Though I of course never knew him, I feel blessed just to have been given a glimpse of him with the stories you shared with us here; the motorcycles, the energy he had, the love for life. Can you see the impact he has had on the younger men in your family? I would imagine so. Perhaps mention that, or your favorite memory, or just how much you two loved each other which is so lovingly tangible here in the pages of your blog. Anything you say about your father will be the right thing to say.

[melly]

Don't think about what you want to say. Pick up the pen and put down on paper whatever comes to mind....don't think...

I started my dad's with the following words:

"Heaven needed a master gardener, and you were chosen...." and I know in my heart, that indeed heaven's garden is much greener and the wisteria is blooming deliciously since my father took over his duties up above....

I send you and your family my love.

[Karin]

Begin with his eyes, with his vision of what his life was. I can tell from how you wrote about him, photographed him, that he was a man who loved unconditionally, who lived every day to its fullest potential. He was a man who knew that his prescence here was important, that he had purpose. His purpose was you, and your brothers and your mom and his service to a Heavenly Father that he loved. Start there. His life was lived for each of you and all of the things you need to say are in your heart, where he is.
Much love to you, Corey.

[Genevieve]

Dear Corey -

This morning I've offered a prayer to the Holy Spirit ( the great commnunicator) to descend upon you with comfort, strength for this last leg, refreshment (I'm not talking about that green bean casserole that just came in the door!) and inspiration to write a eulogy for your wonderful father. You are a force of nature, and so, it seems was he.

Bless You -

Genevieve

[Candy]

Give yourself a time limit of so many minutes and then let go of that emotion and write it. He is alive in you and your words Corey. You will be brilliant. Thinking of you here.

[Alison Gibbs]

Corey just say what is in your heart.
Don't think just write
Alison

[angela marie]

and the Spirit will Corey...

(((hugging you)))

[the farmers wife]

It's probably the most difficult thing you will do. How do you pare a long and full life and all the beautiful relationship down to one word, one paragraph, one page. Impossible I think.

I had to write such a piece for the funeral of my best friend's daughter. I was almost frozen because I wanted to say something profound and lasting. I'm not sure I succeed but there was meaning in the effort.

[Cat]

Blessings sent to you for today.

[ana rose]

Where you are at this moment is the place to begin. Special words from a special place, from the heart, unspoken and unshared until now.
The words of love are unending and the tears are droplets of love overflowing use them they will guide you.
All my love and prayers.
Ana

[Vicki]

Corey, you have such a beautiful way with words......you have been writing his eulogy
during his final journey. You shared with us what a wonderful man and father he was.
You showed us the amazing love that is shared in your family....Just speak from your heart and let your emotions flow. I am so happy French husband is there with you now. Love and prayers!!!

[Dee/reddirtramblings]

Dear One,

You wrote it yourself in that many days you've written for the blog.

Those we love, who have gone before us, stay alive in our memories, and in the faces of our children and grandchildren.

The dance goes on even after we've gone to the bosom of our Father.~~Dee

[Ruth]

Corey, speak those words you spoke to him all of these past days. The love, the happiness, the legacy of family he created. Its there in your heart and the hearts of each of your brothers. Ruth

[berriehead]

Happiness is being loved
& celebrating it every single day.

My dad................

you wrote that somewhere in this blog of yours...I had been looking high and low for the post with you and your dad in the pick up...he telling you about the farms nearby...& those clouds! I remember that day in your photos with your dad in his pick up it was one of my favorites!...YES I believe most of your lost words can be found right here Corey:) I'm glad your FH is now with you! You will find the words when needed :) maybe your words don't even need to be written...speak from your heart ....luv you!

[anna]

Your strength will shine, your words will come, Corey...trust yourself.......xoxoxo

[berriehead]

Happiness is being loved
& celebrating it every single day.

My dad................

you wrote that somewhere in this blog of yours...I had been looking high and low for the post with you and your dad in the pick up...he telling you about the farms nearby...& those clouds! I remember that day in your photos were beautiful...YES I believe most of your lost words can be found right here Corey:) I'm glad your FH is now with you! You will find the words when needed :) luv you!

[Sher]

You knew him well, Corey. How did he want to be remembered?

[rel]

Corey,
Well, you are going to turn into a puddle so accept it and move forward. xxoo.
If it were me, and it isn't, I would start thusly; I love you dad and I miss you. You taught us many things:........
You will be fine Corey.
rel

[Shannon]

It must be so hard to see through the grief to what the wonderful things your father was.

Maybe it would be helpful to look back through your blog posts so that all of those images block out the hospital scenes crowding your head.

Pick one story and talk about it, or even read it directly as you had written it in your post. Maybe the rest will flow forth more easily.

It'll come to you :)

[pauline]

Start with the words, "Dad was... " and keep going. The words are all there, they're just dammed up behind all that emotion. Give them a little sluice room, let them trickle slowly one by one. Every adjective you can think of to describe your father will elicit some memory for you and for everyone listening to you. Sharing your view of your dad will let him walk amongst you all again...

[poppy fields]

Many people have already suggested this, but you've written so many lovely things about your Dad, perhaps you can find your words in some of your posts.

Take care Corey, I'm glad that your husband is with you.

[mary]

I , too , had to write the eulogy for my father. The words started to flow after I looked through old poetry books and found the perfect poem by Judith Wright to be the closing words for it. ( I also found the first line of the Lords Prayer to be extraordinary "Our father - who art in heaven...")

For what it is worth here is the Judith Wright (Australian Poet) poem...

"Now let the draughtsman of my eyes be done
Marking the line of petal and of hill..
let the long commentary of the brain be silent.
Evening and the earth are one, and bird and tree are simple and stand still.
Now, fragile heart swung in your webs of vein,
and perilous self won hard out of clay,
gather the harvest of last light,
and reap the luminous fields of sunset for your bread.
Blurs the laborious focus of the day and shadow brims the hillside slow as sleep:
Here is the word that when all words are said, shall compass more than speech.
The sun is gone, draws on the night at last; the dream draws on."

I am so glad French Husband is with you.

[Betty C.]

I am so sorry about your Dad. My God, has it been three months? You have been so devoted and courageous.

I agree with the person above that some of what you have shared on this blog can help with the eulogy, maybe the end of it.

As for the beginning, just think about all the things that made your father special. I remember my mom who did her grandmother's eulogy and told funny stories, like about how my great-grandmother was lucky, always winning turkeys at church bingo parties...

Tell stories. You're so good at it...

Hugs from the Aveyron...

[Hasmin]

Dear Corey, you have the gift of writing, of putting down words that are felt, that speak...embraced. Just speak from your heart. ((hugs))

[robyn]

So sorry for your loss Corey. I lost my father when I was young, interestingly though, as time passes the memories I have of him become stronger and stronger. I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. Sincerely, Robyn

[Merisi]

Writing the eulogy for a loved one by a loved one is something I encountered only when I moved to the United States. Growing up in Austria and later, when I came back to attend funerals of loved ones, I experienced a different ritual. Here in Austria, the (Catholic) priest visits the home of the bereaved, - often he has known the family for a long time -, and then talks about the loved one who has passed away. Recalling the life, events, the place in the community, the passions, whatever the family wants to talk about, and from that, together with the family weaves a curriculum vitae, an eulogy, that reflects that persons live. I find this a very comforting ritual, being able to assemble the collective memories, while helping to put together a worthy eulogy at the same time.
May all those beautiful thoughts you wrote down so eloquently, whenever you wrote about your father, help you write an eulogia you know your father will be smiling about. You have loved him so well, every word of you will reflect that. God bless you!

[Ed in Willows]

Corey - For me, the eulogy has already been written. For the last few months, you have been sharing all the great things about your dad with us all. Your father gained so many new friends through your words. Even though they never met him, hundreds of people are better humans for having been introduced to him by you. For those of us that did know him, you have reminded us what a faithful friend,loving father and husband he was. He will be missed but never forgotten. Thank you Corey.