Courage

There is a difference between letting go and giving up.

It is as if my father is at the base of Mount Everest. His heart, mind and lungs seem to send a call out by taking a step forward with desire and courage. The rest of his body, though weak, responds by trying to follow along.

The other part of his body that is weaker fails him and puts him back at base camp. He regains some strength and tries again.......

Bearing witness to my father's desire to live is a balancing act of amazing grace and sweet sorrow, between wanting to hold on for him and surrendering. It is love that drives him, it is courage that beckons us to follow.

Mount Everest (as my brother Zane calls it,) looms, haunts, teases... though I believe one day my father will stand upon it and soak up the purest of light and fly home.

Comments

[Betty C.]

Thinking of you...

[Colette]

Angel wings will lift him to the summit when the time is right -- and you are so right: there is a huge difference between giving up and letting go.
In the meantime, all my love.

[Mari-Nanci]

It seems logical that your father has been moved to a skilled nursing home. Where the drama continues to be played out. Not easy on him, or on anyone.

But common sense seems to say that from now on, the burden will be carried locally, by your mother and your local siblings. It is time for you to go back home.

Marriage and family need nurturing. They do _not_ thrive, with one partner on one continent and the other partner, on another continent.

Please Dear Corey, know you have done all you can, on this continent. Please know that your duty now, is to your own marriage and family. They are your now. Please, see your way clear, to fly home to them. Soon. Very, very soon...

Please...

Please...

Please...

Mari-Nanci

[beachy]

"God causeth His face to shine upon us."

Continued prayers and love for you all, Corey.

[Miss Sandy]

May his grace enfold you.
May His gentle hands hold you.
May His peace fill you.
May His strength be real to you.
May prayer cover you.
May angels hover over you.

Still lifting you to the Father.

[Cindy]

My prayers continue for your precious Father, and all of those he holds so dear to his heart. May God's most tender blessings envelope you all.

With love~
Cindy

[Rosemary]

Bless you Corey, and your wonderful family.
My thoughts are with you everyday!
Rosemary

[Lisa Oceandreamer]

I stood at my Mom's bedside, for days I watched her. I watched her sense of humor still shine even when nothing else was. I watched her hold on because she told me part of her was at peace and other part she was afraid. I was powerless to change her journey's course but I was there to make her steps cushioned with love.
Your Father is surrounded with that love...whatever steps his journey takes, to base camp or to the top....are also cushioned like a soft snow by that love from you and your family.
I wish I could be there if only to hug you.
You are an amazing woman full of grace.
XOXOXO
Love,
Lisa

[Deborah]

I do not have words as eloquent as yours and the previous commenters. I am praying for you and yours.

[Jeni]

Your words touched my soul with hope, love and courage.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Christine]

your father is giving you an amazing gift to be with him during this journey....love, courage, peace for you and your family.
Christine

[Anna]

Infinite Love surround you and bless you and your Dad...your family. Peace to all of you.

[annie]

keeping you and yours close to my heart and in my prayers, dearest one. sending you love. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

[Ardi]

These are precious moments - a time to help your father by surrounding him with love. They are also a gathering time - gathering in your loved ones, gathering together and letting him know how dearly he is loved.

[patpaulk]

A very Corey-beautiful analogy.

[Vicki]

Corey you are an amazing woman....sending my love, thought and prayers to you and your family.

[Sarah]

Corey thank you for sharing such an extraordary time with us. My prayers are with you.

[cruststation]

Your posts is a testament to your strength, and that of your family. Words so inspiring and humbling to the soul, may peace and blessings be with you.

[Genevieve]

Peace.

[Aina]

You are the most extraordinary women I ever have "met"! I have never in my hole life met someone with so much courage, love and hope. Because of you my problems seems like a drop in the ocean, and I am feeling fortunate to follow your journey that makes me realize what life is all about.
Stay strong, don`t lose your hope, and be gently with yourself. In this stressful time I won`t forget about you and your family. Lots lots of Love from from Holland and Aina xxx

[Di Overton]

Be brave darling. You are doing something invaluable. Good thoughts coming your way. Love to all your family

[Julie Ann]

How I wish I had you beside me when I sat in the hospital whilst my beautiful precious Mummy completed her journey in October 2005. Your grace and courage would have been Godsent. Your words are a great gift to all your readers Corey and that you are able to find and deliver them at this time is the greatest inspiration. Isn't the power of love just awsome ? Continued love & prayers,Jx

[Christine]

Thought of you and your family last Saturday as we passed through Willows on a stormy afternoon. We were headed down to Monterey to see my Grandmother when we got word that she has passed before we could make it to see her one last time. You and your family are so fortunate to be with each other over the last several weeks..I'm sure that will give your Dad much strength for when his next journey begins.Continuing to send good thoughts your way :)

[M-Noëlle]

Your father may not be able to ride his bike up the Himalaya but he will walk up at his own pace - with his family's strong support.
However long and slow the climb is, he's being awaited at the top ... (with a barrel of beer!)

Hanging lines of good wishes (can he/you see them flapping in the wind?)...
Winding hundreds of "prayer-rattles"...
and thinking of you all ...

[kim]

Corey-
My dad had a massive heart attack years ago and barely hung on to his life for days and days. I was absolutely certain that he was going to die or be left on a ventilator. My aunt kept saying, "where there's life, there's hope..." but I just couldn't see my dad surviving. But he also fought and fought and he just wanted to live and he made a full recovery and was on the golf course within a year. He lived fully for another 8 years. He passed away at home, very suddenly, of another heart attack. It was mercifully quick and he died with his boots on, as they say.

[Wandering Chopsticks]

Corey, I've been reading your blog for a long time. I know how much you love your father and my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope he pulls through.

[herhimnbryn]

The mountain top will always be there C. Your dearest Pa can take his time.
My thoughts with you and your family and his life companion your Mum.

[Betty @ She's Sew Pretty]

Oh Corey! What courage and grace you have. It humbles me to read your words.

[Cousin Chris]

Corey,
Millions of times, Uncle George has said,(one of his favorite sayings) " Aint No Mountian for a Climber". When we used to go to the hills riding he would change it up a bit..."Aint No Mountian for a Rider". We ALWAYS made it to the top.

[Elaine L.]

It took 6 months for my father to climb the mountain. I went through so many emotions preparing myself for my father to possibly get better which, at the time, seemed remote, while preparing myself for "the call". My dad will be 86 in June and while he is not as physically active as before, he is able to enjoy the company of friends and family and handles his business affairs.

From what you have said about your father, our dad's are carbon copies.

I pray that God will let your father know when it's time to stop climbing and "let go" into the light and love that is God, until then, I hope he doesn't give up.

God Bless You All during this difficult time.

~elaine~

[My Melange]

Prayers, hugs, love and kisses in a steady stream coming your way.

xoxo
Robin

[Jenny]

And the clear sky is all around you...

Ah! Ah!

Love's shadow will surround you

All through the night

Thinking and praying for you Corey...and your Dad. xxxooo

[Kerstin]

Dearest Corey, when words fail me I still think about you and your family. Warmest wishes, Kerstin

[Ellen Cassilly]

Corey, Frank and I have been thinking/praying with you/for you for days. Breathe and be there for your family. Breathe and let your family be there for you. Love, Ellen

[Mary]

Thinking of you at dawn, at dusk, and in between. Know you are being strong for your father, your mother, and for yourself. Blessings to you all during this difficult journey.

[Diogenes]

Dear Corey,

Thinking of you and wishing you and your father well.

[Becca]

Thinking of you often ...

[Missy]

this is beautifully written... my thoughts are with you.

[Elaine]

Dear Corey, I send you and your family my love.

[cat]

courage and blessings

[cat]

blessings and courage...

[tut-tut]

Hold the hands of your father and your loved ones; that is the greatest comfort now.

[clarice]

Dear Corey, what an inspiration your father is. I am still praying Clarice

[Suzanne - the Farmer's Wife]

You are in my prayers daily. It's very, very difficult to watch our loved ones push on and suffer. When my stepfather was ill it became apparent to us at some point that he was fighting the hard fight because of a feeling of responsibility....that this is what his loved ones expected of him. When we realized this it placed a huge burden on our hearts. We just wanted him to be free of the pain and the incredibly long struggle of his illness.

Your father and your family will come to their own terms with this crisis. I am wishing you peace, I am wishing your fagther the strength to face what lies ahead. There are so many people willing to lighten your burden.

[La Donna]

Dear Corey:
Sending love and prayers.
Love,
La Donna

[Julie christie leary]

What a wonderful father he must be to inspire such love and devotion in his family...he must be so proud of you and your brothers.You are a wonderful daughter.

[Lynda ~ Hedgerow Hollow]

May God grant you and your father the strength and courage you need. I hope you can feel my hug from here. ~ Lynda xox

[constance muller]

Hey Friend,
Stopping by to say I'm thinking of your Papa, your family and you. As Somepinkflowers said, your words are a gift to all of us.
Sending prayers.
with love,
Constance

[Chris]

Prayers to you Corey, to your Dad, Mom, and family. Love, Holy Spirit comfort and peace are prayed for you. May His will be done.

[wendy]

Hi Again Corey,

I read over what i wrote and see i said it all wrong...wish i could go in and fix it but i'm not sure how : (

I pray that whatever Gods Will is here, whatever it is, will reveal itself as a beautiful thing, and that there will be sweet comfort and healing throughout....

Peaceful Week, Wendy