French Post Office

The cost of shipping 

Fourteen people waiting, only one line open. That was how the morning began at the post office. When my turn arrived, the postal worker looked at me, looked at the box, then looked back at me, this wasn't a good sign. Though I had carefully printed the address on the box, with a black tip marker, the red headed postal work wasn't impressed. "You must write the address on a sheet of white paper and attached it to the box." She said blankly. I asked her, "Do you have a piece of blank paper I could use, please?" The reply she gave me was a, "don't-bother-me," no. I glanced around, and found a stack of advertisements paper, blank on the back side and white. Happy day! I quickly printed out the address, then asked the postal worker if she had any tape, par chance? She looked at me like I was stepping on her nerves. One word is all she gave, "No."

On my tiptoes I peered into her cubicle, I spotted airmail tape. "How about that airmail tape?" She barely looked at me when she said, "Mais non, we do not use airmail tape for that...(she might as well have added dumb head.)

I walked to the local shop and bought some tape to fix my new white make shift address label. The clock overhead said, 11:45. I raced back to the post office before it closed.

Opening the post office door, I couldn't believe my luck, not a soul in the place, I smiled. The red head dropped her telephone, she barked, "*Merde *merde *merde! It is not possible, I am closing! You cannot do this at this time--- OUT! OUT! OUT!" I calmly pointed to the clock as my witness. She stomped her foot, took my box, and locked the door behind me.

The red head glanced at my box and snickered,"This box is going to the United States of America? This will cost you a fortune to mail. Are you sure you want to mail it?" I thought of saying, "It is cheaper then an airline ticket." Instead I shook my head yes.

I filled out the declaration (custom paper) she gave to me, then handed it back to her. Before my eyes she took the declaration, placed it on top of the box, over the address label I had created. Then she torn a sheet of wide clear plastic tape, and plastered it over the declaration form AND MY WHITE PAPER ADDRESS LABEL!

Taped it! Counting to ten is a lesson that has helped me stay calm many of times. She smiled with a twist of bitter lemon and laughed under her breath.

Then she took the box and put it on the scale to weigh. With a tilt of her head and music to her voice, I heard her say, "Too bad! Too bad! Your box weighs too much! Our scales are too small they only go to 250 grams, so you will have to go the butcher shop to have this package weighed, if you want to mail it that is?" I looked at her, blinked my eyes in disbelief and could only say, "What?" Then I started to count out loud..."One, two, three, four..."

At the butcher shop, with sides of beef, chickens plucked with their heads still attached, rabbits in full fur, and sausage strung like Christmas lights. I looked at the butcher, and before stating my weird and wacky history of how I came to be in his shop, I began by saying, " Excuse me, the reason I have never been in your shop before, is because I am a vegetarian..." He had a hearty laugh!

He took the box, "How much did Red Head say her scales went to?" Innocently I said, "250 grams." The butcher marked on the box:

"251 grams signed, Monsieur Butcher."

The box weighed at least five pounds. I looked at him as if he just gave me sliced ham. "This package is at least five pounds?" The butcher laughed, "Not by my scales."

At 3:00 pm I was first in line at the post office. Red Head unlocked the door. She smiled, "Oh you are here again. Is everything ready to go? Viola! C'est bon!" She didn't even flinch at 251 grams! What did she have for lunch?

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p.s.  Not all post clerks in France are like red head.

* Merde is a bad word in French.

Photos: Taken around a French village in the south of France.

Comments

[Cassoulet Cafe]

GREAT STORY! We encountered clerks like RedHead when we were living in France....I thouroughly enjoyed reading this post today.
:)

[Alexandra]

To funny! I'm emailing this to my sister in Europe.

[Leanne]

That's hilarious. Why oh why do I only remember to count to ten after I lose my cool? Good on you.

[Sylvie]

But MANY postal clerks in France are just like her. Oh, what memories I have.
Thanks for the great storey Corey. I love the happy ending!

[Marva]

LOL!!!! Hurray for the butcher! He must not like her either! Too funny! Glad you finally got your package mailed. And I thought our postal workers were bad! :) Marva

[Nora]

Cheers to the butcher [and to you for displaying such restraint]!

[jane]

I just discovered your blog today and wanted to thank you for the best laugh---the butcher! what a wonderful fellow...

I will return---your writing and photos are lovely.

[AnnieElf]

You are a better person than I am, Corey. I would have counted to ten but it would have been a count DOWN.

[susanna]

I meant to say - "GET WRITING ON THAT BOOK!"

(My proofreading skills have apparently gone downhill) :)

[susanna]

Oh my lord! I'm laughing out loud in disbelief. Do you sometimes wonder if you are living a movie or a really good book, Corey?! Can't you just imagine God up there in heaven, flaked out on his bed on a Sunday, reading another chapter of "Corey: The Daily Adventures of An American Woman Living in the South of France" - and grinning. I say you started on WRITING THAT BOOK! :)

[leslie]

It must be a requirement for postal workers to take a class on "how not to be helpful". I guess it's a universal problem. I have so many horror stories about my post office.

[heather]

i don't know if i should laugh or be angry for you. the butcher obviously helped some other people before - i loved his response! so i guess you saved money in the long run...

[Barbara Torris]

Oh Corey, I loved this story so much. First I have had experiences like this at the post office. AND my best friend's had a daughter that owned a car. She called it the mered mobile...an apt description for the worst car in the world. Thank you so much...b

[Connie W]

What an experience! The postmistress where I live is exactly the opposite - greets everyone with a huge smile, is casual & friendly while being professional and gives great service, every single time. I feel lucky now!

[Caffienated Cowgirl]

Oh what a story! Are postal workers the same worldwide??

[Lynda]

Maybe it's just postal clerks with this attitude? The butcher seemed to know red head well! Cute story. :) ~ Lynda xo

[Felicia]

Oh my goodness! And I thought postal workers were aweful in the United States! At least I've never had one curse at me to my face :)

[Paula]

I wonder if red is married to the butcher????? Now wouldn't that be funny !!!!!

Oh my gosh, I've been in similar situations and at the time would simply love to smack the person behind the counter.

One day a co-worker and I were driving somewhere for lunch and the car in front of us was acting strange. I made an impatient remark and my co-worker (who is a true love everyone kinda gal) countered with "oh maybe he has an emergency, or someone he loves has just died.....then there was a long pause as we both watched the person's strange driving behavior... and she followed up with...."or, he's probably just an a**". Thought I would die laughing.

Have a great day, Corey.

[Lana]

I think your postal clerk has a twin here in the states.....

Have a beautifiul day Corey!

[Elaine Kerr]

Peter Mayle must have been telling the truth in "A Year in Province" – different situations, similar results, definitely the same demeanor! Maybe you should write a book....just think of it as long blog posts.
: D I'd buy it!
(Now I know what my French-Canadian neighbour is saying to his car.)

[M erisi's Vienna]

"Rue du Sauvage"! *rofl*

[M erisi's Vienna]

Sounds like a funny kind of bad dream.
Long live the butcher! Should be ever venture to Vienna, I shall invite him to Demel's! What a sense of humor and rightful vengeance!
I must say that back in the USA and also here in Vienna, I have encountered postal employes who literally packed my stuff, gave me special stamps to make the parcel look nice, covered up for mistakes of mine, have been nothing but sweet. Maybe I should bake a batch of cookies for my present sweet helpers?

[tlchang]

How hilarious. Sounds like the butcher knew the post mistress well. :-) Great story.

I loved the photo of the mermaid and sea fish/monster over the window.

[Elaine L.]

God Bless The Butcher!

~elaine~

[Betty C.]

This is hilarious! I've had a few similar tales, but never finishing up with the butcher weighing any postal material! Have a good day!

[Penny ~ Mosaic Artist]

Oh My!!! I love your new friend the butcher! What a wonderful story. Thank you for coming to my blog! Please visit again!
Penny

[pusa]

that is the most ridiculous / funny and entertaining story i've heard about posting mails!!!! you really do have way with words and weaving stories corey! thanks for sharing your gift with us

[Steph]

LOL I can imagine this was not the best of days for you but what a hilarious tale of red tape to read about!! Thanks for sharing it!

[g]

Beautiful, Corey. Such a tale!
And I particularly like..."She smiled with a twist of bitter lemon and laughed under her breath."
take care, g xo

[p]

He hee! I know 'merde' is a bad word in French because of a post of yours a while back(when your daughter learned that word..) I think the red headed postal worker had 251 grams of vodka martini for lunch... Merde!

[Ally]

What is it about postal employees that make them so touchy about doing their jobs? Sorry for your inconvenience, but happy to read this story.

... so what was in the 251 gram box anyway?!! hmmm?

[Elaine]

Goodness, Corey! We don't have mail delivery in the town I live in so everything has to go to the post office and the only way we receive mail is by getting a post office box. If someone sends me an overnight letter, I won't get it because the post office doesn't deliver and they don't call if you have overnight mail or special items that are perishable, like insulin which my husband receives in the mail. It isn't as bizarre as your experience but oh so much as frustrating. Wish I had a butcher! ;-)

[Catherine]

Yipee for the butcher, Boo for the Post office "Lady"....vbg.....and double Yipee for you Corey for finally getting your box posted which I think is a miracle considering all you had to go through. Thanks for making me smile - you have started my day off on wonderful style.

Catherine

[Islandsparrow]

oh my goodness!!

I'm laughing with you - I'm glad you can see the funny side!

And... I like your butcher!

[liannallama]

bwahaha! Ah I guess bureaucracy (sp?) exists everywhere! Hooray for the butcher, LOL! What a great story!

[Alice]

Oh, how your stories make me laugh. I will now think of this everytime I need to count to ten. And, I will be on the look out for red-headed french post clerk.

[Sandy]

Oh my! What a rude, rude person. Does she not like her job, herself, her life or just packages going to America? I live in a town with a small post office & everyone there is nice. We did have a snotty man but he left last year.

[Sandy]

Oh my! What a rude, rude person. Does she not like her job, herself, her life or just packages going to America? I live in a town with a small post office & everyone there is nice. We did have a snotty man but he left last year.

[Sandy]

Oh my! What a rude, rude person. Does she not like her job, herself, her life or just packages going to America? I live in a town with a small post office & everyone there is nice. We did have a snotty man but he left last year.

[Redness]

Lordy you have the patience of a saint! So funny and frustrating! Australian butchers and postal clerks are similar, thankfully red heads are nothing like you experienced ... LOL!

[Marge]

Hi Corey! This sounds just like the post office here in Tacoma, Wa.! I just "love" it when after a very long wait (1 clerk open to 50 people)and no other clerks "available". it's finally MY TURN!...only to have the clerk put their "closed" sign up since it is either their break time or lunch time.I know how frustrating it must have been, but having to go to the butcher shop to have your package weighed was very amusing.I do agree with an above poster that really, there is no excuse for rudeness in the customer service department if one can't be civil.

[nita from red tin heart]

Most people like her have such a miserable life to begin with that they want to take it out on others. They have never learned to have joy. They pack their bitterness around like a badge of honor. Never having learned to be better instead of bitter. I am glad the butcher was kind to you. A brief respite during your trying morning. xoxo Nita

[tommiea]

Sounds like the postal workers in Texas!

[Bejeweled]

This is a great story! Laughed so hard I fell off my chair! Love that butcher! I'm glad you have the counting to ten thing down. I'm afraid my response would have been less mature and dignified :)

[Cre8Tiva]

oh there is a red head postal clerk here on my little island...i let people go in front of me if she comes up at my turn...i found out last time that everyone tries to pass by her line if at all possible...how about ups???...blessings, rebecca

[Kitem]

No, they are not all like this at the post office, although I have encountered a few, and I am not as patient as you, but talking about that it was also to send a box abroad, do they have something against the faraway countries? Bravo for your good sense of humor, I laughed heartidly at your story, funny and well written.

[Veronica TM]

oh my, corey...it is so good that you learn the counting to ten lesson!
it is clear that the red head doesn't like her job and is not a joyful person, it must be hard.
i hope the rest of your day is sweet.

[beachy]

Oh my if this isn't the best chuckle I've had in ages!!! Steer clear of French red-headed postal workers is my new motto!

[Parisbreakfasts]

I could read this histoire a thousand times!
Wonderful :)

[jen]

Good God. I don't know if I could've kept from wringing her neck! I'm thinkin' either she doesn't work there too often or you don't have to go to the PO to often...otherwise she may very well HAVE had her neck wrung by now! ;-)