Do you speak French?

When I arrived in France I was thirty years old and did not speak more than three words in French.  Some of you have asked me what was that like and how long did it take me to learn to speak French.

It took me a very l.............o.......................n.......................g time to learn French.  I am still learning.  I have a very thick accent that doesn't bother me in the least.  Several years ago at a dinner party a man asked me if I could read in French.  I answered that I could read basic French but not classic novels.  I also admitted I could not write in French.  In which he replied (in French) "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? After all these years you haven't learned?"  I replied, "I am stupid."  I thought I might as well tell him what he thought and avoid anymore of his insults.  It worked.  The conversation about my French language skills ended, though the dinner conversation continued on lighter topics.

Since then when French people ask me how long I have lived in France I know in a small way they are judging my French.  If I say "twenty years," they often reply in one or two ways:

1. You speak well, but you have a very thick accent.

or-

2. You speak like this after twenty years?

After awhile this sort of response started to bug me. 

I thought I would change my answer so that we would all feel good.  Therefore when a French person asks me how long have I lived in France I say,  "Not too long."  They respond by saying;

1) Incredible! Your French is very very good.

They smile and I smile everyone is happy.

Yes I am bending the truth.  But that is a fault I can live with.  Unless God only speaks French in which case I am busted.

I speak French.  I dream in French.  I can follow a conversation in French.  I started to speak French when I found out I had cancer 15 years ago.  (Amazing what a little fear can do to one's language skills.)  I can buy antiques in French.  I can also kiss in French,  make crepes, and I feel I have come a long way since the day I couldn't say more than oui and non.

Photos: French vintage pieces found in a scrapbook.

Comments

[Cassoulet Cafe]

Love this post. Maybe THAT is why my French friends rave about my faulty French. I haven't lived there for 20 years yet.

[My Melange]

Corey,

You are an inspiration! Especially to someone like me who would be afraid to move because of not being able to learn the language. I do feel though that each time I visit France, my French gets better and better...maybe one day I'll be as good as you are :) I have also been told that Provincial French is very different than 'Paris' French. Parisians say you have an 'accent'. I think that is hilarious :)

[Amber]

I would fib, too, Corey.

I am marveling at how different it is here in California...Where an American can hardly get around in some areas if they don't speak Spanish! LOL!

I think we could actually learn something from France. Heh.

:)

[AnnieElf]

I remember being in the marketplace in Laval twelve years ago. I was talking with an old man in my stumbling, bumbling French. He was so sweet and patient and we DID communicate. He seemed to love that I was trying to speak in HIS language and I was not expecting HIM to speak English. That has always been a little moment of kindness that I've never forgotten. Désirent ardemment de phase le vieil homme.

[Kitem]

French are very rude about their language, it is something that irritate me a lot. Our French accent when speaking English is awful, however for the British, it is "soo sweet", we have to take some lesson here.

[Betty C.]

I CAN read and write French -- better than a lot of French people, I might add. But I still get those comemnts about my accent too...sigh...

[Marie-Noëlle]

Did Rude Frenchie finally take the French leave? I DO hope he DID !!!
______________________

His comment was rude. But I don't think he meant to be so harsh. I beleive he was having a bad day and took a stab at me. I also don't beleive he thought I would understand what he said. It often surprises people that I understand them far better than how I can speak.

[Catherine]

Bonsoir Corey!
J'aime beaucoup votre blog mais hélas,je suis incapable de vous répondre dans un anglais correct!Je suis sure que vous parlez très bien le français et gardez votre accent surtout,c'est surement ce qui fait votre charme quand vous parlez français(avec votre personnalité bien sûr!LOL)
C'est dommage que vous soyiez à Paris,j'aurais aimé vous faire connaître mon coin de France:la Bretagne!
Continuez de nous charmer sur votre blog! Bonne soirée!

[sognatrice]

Ah, I can feel your frustration, especially since you're one who expresses herself so well in her native language.

Next time someone dogs your French, I think you should react in one of two ways (1) If they don't speak English, tell them to move to England (they'll *love* just that suggestion!) and see how well they do knowing nothing going in; or (2) Start speaking English with a really deep regional accent of your choice and use a lot of slang. Then ask them why they don't understand you ;)

[Colette]

Better to bend the truth than say "I'm stupid" because you are anything but!

It reminds me of the Americans who hate that some oldsters still can't speak english even though they've been there 40 years. Specifically in Miami where there are so many spanish speakers. So, yes it's universal.

And, languages don't come easily to some people while others pick them up quickly. C'est la vie!

Great post! xox

[Toni Mason]

I have never tried to learn a foreign language well except in the 9th grade! I think I have a foreign language block! I do want to learn how to navigate in Italian though...can you help?
___________________________
Tonio-
Um...Italian? "Bella Luna," is about the only words of Italian that I know. Butta, I thinka if you putta "a" or an "o" after your words you mighta getta soma righta?

[Paris Parfait]

Corey, everything you've said about the French reaction to the way we speak their language is absolutely true. And I too say, "Not long," when asked by a French person how long I've lived here.

[tinker]

I think you may have reached a perfect solution - since doesn't God want us to be kind to one another? Your line made me laugh so hard -
You're a treasure, Corey~xox

[Bridget]

J'adore ces images!

[Elaine L.]

"Unless God only speaks French in which case I am busted."

That statement made me chuckle. I'm so happy to hear that you have a terrible accent. All hope for me is not lost. I do not have an HEAR for languages.

My daughter, on the other hand, has a brain that is totally wired for any language. She gets the perfect accent right off.

~elaine~

[pusa]

another great post! dont mind them besides they say french is the most difficult language to learn and you've come a long way learning more than the oui's. cheers! :)

thank you also for visiting my blog and leaving a comment, really really appreciate it!!! coolness!

your fan

[susanna]

It's pretty amazing how rude people can be regarding nationality or language...and unfortunately that rudeness is universal. I think many times people make such judgements without thinking that it takes alot of courage to move and live abroad, especially in a country where the residents speak another language.

[violetlady]

To dream in French is really something. That must mean that you are fully acclimated to the French language. I took French in high school and a little in college. When I went to Paris last year I was able to get by. Of course, they spoke a lot of English, too. I have French language CDs and books and try to practice. What I really need is someone with whom I can converse in French. It is amazing what I can remember from high school so many years ago.

[tommiea]

I can't wait to kiss in French....less than 90 days....whew hoo!

[Sandy]

Oh Corey,
I hope I can describe in this comment what your words do for me every time I read your blog. You are so descriptive and creative in your use of words and it is almost like I'm reading my favorite novel and waiting for the next chapter to unfold. You are too clever with words spoken in ENGLISH and I'm sure even more so with FRENCH and I truly do enjoy your blog! My husband and I dream of owning a home in the south of France some day and I should probably start learning the language now!

Have a wonderful weekend.
Blessings,
Sandy :)

[Sandy]

Oh Corey,
I hope I can describe in this comment what your words do for me every time I read your blog. You are so descriptive and creative in your use of words and it is almost like I'm reading my favorite novel and waiting for the next chapter to unfold. You are too clever with words spoken in ENGLISH and I'm sure even more so with FRENCH and I truly do enjoy your blog! My husband and I dream of owning a home in the south of France some day and I should probably start learning the language now!

Have a wonderful weekend.
Blessings,
Sandy :)

[Tammy]

When I studied in Avignon (and I use the term "studied" tres loosely!), I had been taking French classes for seven years, so I was conversational...not brilliant, not flawless, but I could hold up my end of a conversation. For the most part. With some exceptions. Anyway. Once I was on a train, I sat next to an older man and we visited, in French, for a bit. He said, in French, "where are you from, you have such a lovely accent. You must be Parisian." Well, I was just tickled pink...still makes me smile as I write it here. I'm from a small town in southern Oregon with no accent at all. I told him so, and he said, "Impossible!", which, naturellement, made me even giddier. He was a cute old guy, typically southern France, in his black wool beret and canvas boots, unshaven, smelling of lavender and red table wine. Hmmm...I haven't thought about that in a long time. Thanks for the reminder with your post. A bientot!

[Pauline]

how telling that you sought a way to be kind and to make everyone feel comfortable. if only more people tried that...

[elsa]

wow. what rhonda wrote is *so* sweet!
well, you know that i am just learning german.not for my pleasure but because i had too. but i was so excited to start understanding everthing and so i have been basking in the glory of people telling me how impressed they were how great my german was until i reciently (2 times) got comments like "now that you can understand and talk, "du muss uebung machen" or "you must practice"
butfrom now on i too will say "not too long" i will bend it too! thank you!

[Pat]

Corey, you are an amazing woman! Another great post!

Pat

[fleur]

Thanks for the answer, Corey (I asked how long it took). Your new response to French people asking how long you've been there is just perfect!
I know two languages and am working on French -- but think that living there is the only way to really learn. Maybe some day, if I'm lucky.

[qualcosa di bello]

oh, yes and i also eat in french!

[qualcosa di bello]

sadly, though i am french via grandmere dipreaux, i do not speak nor read this most elegant of languages...maybe very soon!

but i do kiss in french! oui, oui!

[tut-tut]

You are my inspiration to read French blogs and do better myself!!! And I am!!!!!

[maddie]

I just think you are brilliant - it is of course relative in terms of bending the truth -
and "not too long" is perfect -
I think what is far more important than the accent is your passionate embrace of the
culture in every way - would put them to shame.

tsk!

[Lisa]

Ppppfft...The french say I speak french with an italian accent, and the italians say I speak italian with a french accent. At least the italian men find it all sexy!

[Aina]

Isn`t the French language difficult to learn? Well, i have heard so..At the moment i am living in The Netherlands (5 years now), my Dutch isn`t that great, but i do know it could have been much better. But it is too easy to speak Norwegian because of the fact that we (my hubby and i) have lived together for a few years in Norway, and he knows the language that well. I find it hard to have long discussions, i just don`t have enough words! And then i get sooooo frustrated. Do you feel the same? Yes, i want they to get me, but they don`t. Not really...And then we get those misunderstandings. I still have those with my hubby. Not just because of the language, but also because of the culture gap. For instance: In Dutch, immediately mean, about a few hours. In Norwegian it mean right away!! haha..i have had a few good laughs...Well, that was my story (",)
Greetings from a Norwegian who lives in The Netherlands, Aina

[Rosemary]

I wish I could speak French. I tried to take a class, but the teacher was horrible.
I know some on my own, but not very much.
I bet you speak beautifully! I'm glad you shut that man up at dinner.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Rosemary

[Sally]

Oh! That makes me mad and sad that people were so rude to you Corey. :( Why are people such idiots?!

I stink at learning languages and I have no ear for accents ... I think I must be tone deaf, can't carry a tune to save my life. I'd definitely get trashed by those judgmental nincompoop sorts out there.

I like your comeback ... it not only stops them in their tracks but if they have a sensitive bone in their body, let's them know they have gone way too far. Sending you hugs!

Oh! I do so love all the graphics, so charming! :)

[ginnycartersmallenburg]

In the women's lib era, stay-at-home mom (me) was often asked what I "did". If I answered that I was a mom and housewife, a look of horror would come to their faces. Soon I learned to say " I write and I paint". This response elicited tales of writers and painters that they knew. I never shared with them that I wrote checks and painted hand me down furniture.
________________________

I love your response. Creative truth.

[somepinkflowers]

sometimes to speak
with your eyes
or with a smile is all it takes,

:-)

n'es pas?
_________________________

Love does speak on its on.

[parisbreakfasts]

I can write like a 10-year old in French.
Well almost...
Still practicing..
Does that count

[Lorene]

Corey,

I really enjoyed your post today. And I don't blame you for bending the truth a little especially if you get a better reaction. And I must say that your reply to the man who said you should be ashamed of yourself was a great comeback. I for one would have probably gone off on him. It is definately not easy to learn a second language. I think you should be very proud of yourself.

Lorene

[Amy]

so interesting that you dream in French! I would love to learn French, but I am so wickedly shy. A friend told me to rent movies in French until it sounded like second nature. I might be grey by then...heh...
___________________

I am grey and French is my second nature. Go for it!

[Hanna]

I think that is a great answer, made me smile too! :-)

And all you need really is french kissing, right? ;-)

[Leigh]

What a wonderful post! I like your line of thinking regarding the man at the dinner party and about changing how you respond to the question in general. Kissing in French is good! That is the only French I know.

[cruststation]

Better to try than not at all...I'm sure the French really appreciates that you are communicating to them in their language and not asking 'Do you speak English?' Language skills should be respected, especially for one who has travelled half way round the world and settled. Really love the scrapbook images (the crying baby in particular).

[heather]

i love languages, and the culture and way of thinking and expressing that comes with them. i am one of those who tries to speak without an accent, because that's "right". but really. native speakers aren't perfect in their own language - we all took english classes and learn new words. after living in sweden for 3 years, i learned you can't lose an accent. over age 10, there is no way to speak another language without an accent. of course i still try my best!
and i loved that you told that guy you were stupid. awesome! until you try living in another land, you don't appreciate how much work it is to read write and speak a language, and how much of that depends on if you have to. and very often, a large vocabulary or lack of accent or excellent writing skills doesn't help us express the thoughts of the heart. at least you've got that down!

[Blondie]

Interestingly, I can ALSO kiss in French.

My French understanding is alright, but my speaking is, how do you say, wretched!!

[eb]

you know my sweet friend

my Muse...

when one speaks

from the heart...

it is always eloquent

and in all languages...

understood completely

by all who listen...

with their heart

and yours speaks volumes...

xox - eb.

[liz elayne]

i love the truth of this post. and i love that you dream in french...dreaming in the language that isn't your native tongue is pretty incredible.

[Heather]

Corey, a thousand years in France would not be enough, so when you tell people you've not been there very long, you are telling the truth! To me, twenty years would feel like half an hour in that glorious country!

[Rhonda M.]

Bonjour Cousin Corey
I remember(and have been teaching my own daughter) the French words for Cork, Shoe, Good Bye, Thank you, Thank you very much!, Please, Excuse me, Fish, Cheese, Chicken, Yes, Mom and my all time favorite Garbage!

O but wait..I can still count the pieces of chocolate (in French) that I would like you to fill my pretty little gold box with! YUM...
O and remember Rosie that French talking baby doll my son bought for his little sister? WE still have her. She looks like she has lived a hard life! giggle giggle. I loved that you and your children would teach me (laugh at me)a new word or two when I came to visit. I am also proud of myself, that when my son and I arrived in Paris, I could ask a woman at the airport where the restroom was! I know my son was impressed! Well, maybe more embarrassed, but hey when you gotta pee you gotta pee! But mostly, I remember the surprised look on your face when we got off the elavator (an american woman that I had just met in the Toilet came and asked you for directions.) I can still hear you say... only you Rhonda can travel way across the world and make a friend :D

I was always proud of you, when you would negoiate me a great price on my "fragilities" (our own little made up French word for FRAGILE )at the street fairs! I always loved the way you made me feel so special in your home. Your home...so full of LOVE and romance... The time we went to visit your dear friend Annie..sitting there listening to the two of you converse in that lovely language. It made me feel nine again. How the times we would go with our mothers to visit our Vo and Vas. How I didn't understand a word of Portuguese. But,we sure knew they were speaking about us, when our names rang loud and clear mixed in with their words.

Soooooooooooooooooooo my favorite cousin in a land so far far way from me...YOU are my French Queen! I thank you for all those dinner parties... as you know my home is dressed with love and French flair... I had you in my mind and heart when I was hanging my memories on my walls.
I love you... and think of you daily... hugs and kisses...

[stephanie]

To speak another language is such a gift...whatever accent you have. To live, love and thrive in another country, what a life!!!

I have had the goal of learning Spanish for a long time now...beyond the very few things I remember from high school Spanish class.

I just finished my first class, helps that the teachers were just the very cutest Peruvian brothers :)

But I am dismally bad....takes me so long to put a sentence together, then the answer is rattled off and leaves me in the dark!

[Ulla]

Bend the truth girl!!! You are nothing short of MARVELOUS!!!!